Something to think about

I received this in an e-mail and thought others could appreciate it as much as I do.

A Walk in My Shoes

C. Waeltermann, 2007

Twas the Night Before Christmas

And all through the house

The creatures were stirring

Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin

And gave a hot bath

But the holiday jitters

They always distract

The children were finally

All nestled in bed

When nightmares of terror

Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift

The right color

And style

Would there be a tantrum

Or even, maybe, a smile?

Our relatives come

But they don’t understand

The pleasure he gets

Just from flapping his hands.

“He needs discipline,” they say

“Just a well-needed smack,

You must learn to parent..”

And on goes the attack

We smile and nod

Because we know deep inside

The argument is moot

Let them all take a side

We know what it’s like

To live with the spectrum

The struggles and triumphs

Achievements, regressions….

But what they don’t know

And what they don’t see

Is t! he joy that we feel

Over simplicity

He said “hello”

He ate something green!

He told his first lie!

He did not cause a scene!

He peed on the potty

Who cares if he’s ten

,He stopped saying the same thing

Again and again!

Others don’t realize

Just how we can cope

How we bravely we hang on

At the end of our rope

But what they don’t see

Is the joy we can’t hide

When our children with autism

Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others

Without the problems we face

With jealousy, hatred

Or even distaste,

But what they don’t know

Nor sometimes do we

Is that children with autism

Bring simplicity.

We don’t get excited

Over expensive things

We jump for joy

With the progress work brings

Children with autism

Try hard every day

That they make us proud

More than words can say.

They work even harder

Than you or I

To achieve something small

To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don’t get it

Or can’t get a clue

Take a walk in my shoes

And I’ll assure you…

That even 10 minutes

Into the walk

You’ll look at me

With the respect, even shock.

You will realize

What it is I go through

And the next time you judge

I can assure you

That you won’t say a thing

You’ll be quiet and learn,

Like the years that I did

When the tables were turned.

Christmas

Christmas was fun at our house. Logan still really wasn't that into opening any gifts. He'd stick his finger in and pull a piece of wrapping paper off and then expect someone else to do the rest. He did enjoy everyone elses gifts as usual. He enjoyed playing with Ryan's toys or taking Katie's stuffed Tigger. He'd sneak the Tigger and run to the playroom with it so he could chew on his tail. He was a good boy on Christmas Eve; he slept through the night in his bed in his room with NO MOMMY OR DADDY with him. IT was wonderful as I'd stayed up until after midnight helping Santa wrap gifts. I started around 8:15 or so and with a few Ryan interruptions the rest of the time was spent on the floor wrapping up everything,

Logan was really excited to see what Santa had brought but then kind of got bored. I am not sure what his favorite toy was; either Ryan's talking Eeyore or the Santa Clause that we had out as a decoration. He'd run up to the decorations and say "Santa!" so we finally gave up and handed it to him. He was very content to sit in his chair pressing the button and listening to Santa talk for quite a while. Ryan didn't seem to care about unwrapping his gifts either. He did sit up and notice the Elmo guitar and the Elmo Garage. He loved the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that Karen and Alex "bought" for them (Curtis went to WM with the gift cards they gave us and purchased it for them). I have a little video on the family site that shows Katie and Ryan pressing the button and just cracking up. They did that for at least 30 minutes last night before getting bored and wandering off to play.

I'm hoping that by next year both boys will be more into the Santa and unwrapping the presents fun. Katie started off very neat; handing each piece of paper she'd pulled off but by the end of the presents she was ripping it off and tossing it all over. What a sight to see!!!

Beginning of the holiday break

Today was the last day of school for two weeks so it has been a little hectic around here for a day or so. First, Logan isn't doing any better with sleeping through the night. In fact, he's regressed big time. The other night I sat in his room for 40 + minutes trying to get him to calm down and go back to sleep. The lights were off and I was just trying to talk to him quietly and stay calm while trying to talk him into getting back into his bed. He was having nothing to do with that idea so we moved out to the playroom couch. He was so upset and mad that it took him another hour before he would settle and go to sleep. Last night I was wrapping presents for the kids in his class so when he came out crying around 10:00 I just let him lay down on the couch and didn't fight him at all.

Ryan is still teething and the two teething tablets that I gave him right before bedtime didn't seem to last as long. The good news was he did sleep until 2:30 this morning but then he screamed so loud and long that when we were finally getting settled back into bed at 3:30 Logan came into the bedroom. I had Ryan between me and Curtis and Logan with his head on my butt at the other end of the bed. He couldn't get comfortable (yeah go figure right?!) so he was moving and making noise which made Ryan stay awake longer. I finally gave up and took Logan back out to the couch. I think he was a little mad so at one point he was either punching or kicking my foot. It was soooo sore this morning but I didn't budge too much while he was doing it, I guess I was too dead tired.

Today's party at school went off without a hitch. I was able to get Marie's cards and breakfast food into her backpack so she could take it to school with her. Her class had a nice Christmas breakfast where Logan's class had a lunch. The thought of having to go up to the school twice wasn't very appealing so I'm glad everything fit in her backpack. She wanted to bring a game so I was trying to put batteries in it when it was time to get ready for the bus so we had to run to the bus in order not to miss it. Thankfully they have a nice bus driver and she could see we were trying to get out the door and waited a little longer for us.

At lunch time, I ran to McDonald's for some fries as an extra special treat for Logan. Their fries are just about the only thing he can eat out. He doesn't get to eat out like the other kids, their class was having pizza so I thought he deserved a special treat too. I, of course, had to get Katie a bag of fries then back into the traffic to head to school with the food and gifts. I saw the class on the playground when I pulled in and Logan was so funny. He saw me wave at him and he turned his back on me as if to say, "I'm not going home with you this early so just go away!"

Once we dropped everything off the two little ones and I headed back home to try to get some cleaning and laundry done for the day. I was able to get some cute pics of Katie and Ryan playing and some of the other kids once they got home. Hopefully they will continue to get along as nicely through the entire holiday break!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful and relaxing Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Sleeping Update

Hopefully I won't jinx myself again. This past couple of weeks (closer to a month) have been pretty exhausting when it comes to the kids (boys) sleeping through the night. Logan and his sleeping in his own bed issues and lately Ryan and his teething issues. We've been taking shifts getting up with them. Curtis will get up with them when he doesn't have to get up in the morning to work and I get up with them the rest of the time. This past weekend I finally had a few brain cells come back to life. I had Curtis pick up an inflatable twin size mattress at Target. It was cheap, less than $20.00. He had the first night watch. I blew it up, put some sheets and a comforter on it and placed it in Logan's room. Curtis dealt with him getting up a couple of times but once he realized Daddy was in the room with him he got back into bed and slept.

At 3:30 Sunday morning Logan had enough and wanted a movie on or to go out to the couch in the playroom. I think they finally gave the movie up as a lost cause around 4:30 or so and moved into the playroom. Ryan woke up around 5:30 fussy and as I had a pretty good night sleep I got up with him. Last night it was my turn on the inflatable mattress. Logan woke up around 11;00 and when he heard me say "it's okay, Mommy's here" he went back to the bed and fell asleep. Since there is no clock or light in there it gets pretty dark. That mattress isn't made for adult usage and isn't very comfortable. I was awake early thinking I really need to used the bathroom but I'm afraid to get up and wake him. I finally had to move and when I passed through the kitchen I looked at the time. It was 6:15 a.m. he made it all the way through the night while waking up only one time!!!

Logan had a nice bubble bath last night and then I put some nice warm jammies as it was supposed to only be 35 degrees through the night. I'm not sure if it was the bubble bath (with Lavender and Chamomile) or the cooler night but either way he slept right through with only one hiccup. Tonight he's going to have another bubble bath, no sugar after 5:00 p.m. and hopefully with the lows in the 40's we can have another almost full night sleep!!

Another Update

Well, I must have jinxed myself last week when I posted about Logan sleeping through the night by Christmas. He has gone back to sleeping in his bed for only a few short hours and then coming in with us. Last night I was able to lay down with him for a little while and get him to sleep but then he came in our room a short time later. When I couldn't get comfortable with him any longer I went out to the couch thinking he was following me. No, he didn't but about 20 minutes later here comes Daddy carrying my little man and saying, "he was calling for his Mommy". He proceeded to kick me and steal my blanket. Once he was comfortable he promptly fell back to sleep. (Once he was asleep I was so dead tired that I just went to sleep right there on the couch. No point in getting up so he can follow me a little while later as it was almost time to get up anyways!)

Ryan had his CS MRI last Thursday and I had not heard any results from the doctor so I called today. It seems they mailed me the results today but she went ahead and told me that it came back normal. YEAH!! We still have to go to the follow up visit with her and the visit with the neurosurgen this Thursday and then we should be done for the next six months with them.

Ryan did have a great morning at the occupational therapist. He had been having a "block" where eating anything at their office was concerned. He had vomited there a couple of weeks ago and refused to eat anything for them after that. Today started out like it had been but half way through therapy he decided he would eat for them. He played with some rice cakes and even put a cheese-it in his mouth and touched his tongue with it. Of course, it promptly came back out and flew at the therapist but hey that is some major improvement for the little guy! Way to go Ms. Corie!

Ryan also had his first visit with the early intervention speech therapist on Saturday morning. She spent about an hour with us observing him and getting "a feel" for what he needs to be working on. She is Logan's first speech therapist from a couple of years ago so it was nice to see her. Ryan did surprise me in that he didn't run away from her. He seemed to accept her and would give her things she requested but never stuck around too close to her for long. That is another improvement for the little guy too. (I think that is because he was at home and a lot more comfortable in his normal home atmosphere.)

Logan; sleeping update and other updates

Last night was a great night for sleeping. Logan stayed in his bed in his bedroom a couple hours longer than he has been. He came running in to our bedroom around 2:15 this morning and once I had him settled on the couch he went to sleep within the hour. I was able to go back to bed until 7:00 this morning. I believe at the rate he is going, maybe, just MAYBE he will be sleeping in his bed through the night by Christmas. I think that is what I'm going to ask Santa for this year.

Thursday is the day; Ryan's CS MRI is scheduled for 10:00 in Orlando. I believe that I will head out at the same time as I did for his first MRI so I don't have to deal with the traffic. Since we have to be there at 9:00 that puts us right in the middle of the morning rush. I can't stand to drive in Orlando during the off peak hours so I know I really don't want to drive it during morning (or evening for that matter!) rush hour traffic. Curtis has said he will drive him but I don't know if I can handle that. It's not like we will get the results right then and there anyway but still...... If I have to sit at home with Katie while he takes him over there I think I will be a basket case anyways. I might as well drive him so I can take my mind off the MRI while dealing with the drive and everything else. Not to mention that we will have to either wake him at 4:00 to give him a bottle or make his 10:00 (p.m. from previous night) bottle it until after MRI. Not too sure that he will be in any mood to put up with no bottle so I think waking him is the best bet.

Another reason I may as well drive him is I need to get the receipts from the copay for the MRI's. I used the flex. spending debit card and GOD forbid I don't get a copy of those receipts to them. They can tell that it's at a hospital quite a ways away from where we live and that it's not for something from the gift shop. Copays for MRI's aren't cheap but I will get the copies so I can mail them in and be done with that. I have to give the Flex. Spending people credit; they did finally add our normal therapy copays as a reoccuring expense so I don't have to mail in each of those receipts. If they had not done this we would not be considering using this again for next year.

Sleeping

When we moved here in early 2005 Logan was still sleeping in a crib. We bought him a race car bed and put it in his room for him so he could get out of the crib. It never worked out for him. He likes to rock or bounce himself most nights so he took over our couch. We ended up moving the couch into the playroom so he could get comfortable and sleep without us waking him. For the past couple of weeks he's decided he wants to snuggle with Mommy and Daddy in the wee hours of the morning.

He had been coming in around 4:00 or 5:00 so that wasn't a big deal. A couple of times it was earlier so I'd grab him up and go lay down on the couch with him until he (or I) fell asleep. I decided that it was time to try again with the toddler bed. For the past two days I have been cleaning out and setting up the boys room. We had made it into a storage room since he wouldn't use it and Ryan is still in with us. We put a television in there as Logan likes to watch a movie while slowing down and going to sleep each night. The room was ready by the time they got home from school yesterday and the look on his face was so worth all the work and sore muscles. He was grinning from ear to ear and jumping up and down. I let him play in there for a little while then made everyone go play out in the playroom until it was time to settle for the night.

I put his movie on for him, got him to climb into his bed with his favorite blankeys and his favorite stuffed animal. He fell asleep pretty quickly with minimal fuss. I was so thrilled and so tired from all the work that we went to bed around 10:00. At 11:00 the door to my bedroom flies open and in comes my little dynamo. He jumped into bed with us so I grabbed him up and head out to the couch. I had planned on laying down on the floor next to his bed if this happened but I was just too tired and sore to do it. We lay down on the couch and he was out within an hour. I was able to sneak back to bed and sleep for about 4 more hours before he came back into the bedroom. We got back up and followed the same routine again. I was able to get another 25 to 30 minutes after he fell asleep again.

I'm happy with his falling asleep with very little fuss but now need to work on keeping him in there for longer periods and making myself take him back into that room when he does get back up. Anyone have any suggestions?

Information

I recently received some interesting information regarding feeding issues similar to Ryan's. It seems that another parent from one of my groups is going through the same thing with her child. They supplement with Liquid Zinc and have had good results; their child is trying new foods again. I am looking into finding some for Ryan to try; don't want to purchase anything bigger than a sample as you never know what flavor he will accept. I had heard that Kirkman Labs has it but it's raspberry and that isn't a flavor we've tried with Ryan. I know whatever we get it will have to be added to his formula or his bananas. Hopefully we can find something with very little taste or minimal taste. I also found it on Autism Coach but I believe they recommend that you mix it with a citrus juice and that's out for Ryan. I'm going to be trying some banana/apple juice with him this week to see if he will tolerate it. We've not had much luck with him drinking anything other than the Next Step formula.

On Thanksgiving I tried to get Logan to try some turkey. I have to give him credit, he did let me put a small piece in his mouth but then he just spit it right back at me. He did the same thing with the mashed potatoes. His teacher was able to get him to try some new GF/CF pretzels that another parent brought in to class. I think I may have to send new foods to school with him as she seems to have better luck getting him to try new things. I have been trying to get him to eat the waffles we bought but he's only eaten a few and then refuses the rest for me. If I send it to school in his lunch box for his morning snack he eats it with no fussing. Hmmmm I wonder what that is all about.

Early Intervention Update

I finally spoke to Ryan's E.I. case worker on Monday. It appears that their speech and occupational therapists in our area have a waiting list. Here I thought the reason they weren't getting back with us was because it was taking a long time for the local hospital to get signed up to be a provider. She originally said that we would be looking at February before he could have speech and not sure when the O.T. would have an opening. She contacted another provider in the area and they do have an opening for speech and should be contacting me sometime this week or next. She did say once we get him on this other provider's schedule we will bug them for his O.T.

I don't expect to hear from them this week as it's Thanksgiving so I'm hoping to hear from the early next week. This particular provider dealt with Logan before he turned three so I know they are reliable. As long as we can get our feet in the door; we can bug them for the O.T. and I think they will find us a therapist pretty quickly. I can't afford to pay the hospital their full charge and the insurance should be running out soon. (only 20 visist per year; what a crock that is for the kids who really need it. I think the insurance companies need to revise their plans to meet the ever increasing need for our children)

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

GF/CF Diet

With four children it's hard to keep Logan out of the food he can't have. He's the only one on the GF/CF diet at this point. Once we get Ryan out of the stage he is in now with his foods, he may end up on the diet too. I have to keep the others away from Logan or he will snatch at their food. He's pretty fast for a five year old.

Most of the time I have Katie over on the kitchen side blocked by a baby gate so she can eat her meals. I hate to do that because she ends up sitting in the highchair and at almost three years old that isn't working. We have recently begun to have her eat at the little desk we have in the living room. (My First LeapPad desk) It gets a little messy but it's better for her to sit down there then to continue in the highchair especially as Ryan is now in need of it. I had been putting Ryan in Logan's booster seat (with it's own laptop tray) but that is hard because it has to be strapped into a chair or on the floor. Meal time at our house goes in shifts, it's just easier that way for me. Marie can eat at the table with Logan because she is old enough to keep him away from her food. They get to eat first, I then will grab Katie and Ryan on the kitchen side and have them eat. After all four have been fed, it's time for Mommy and Daddy to eat. Most days, I make a meal for me, Daddy and Marie so that she gets her veggies. I have to admit though, even with me not working I will sometimes give her special treat of soup and a sandwhich just so I can have some down time when I eat. I guess that makes me a bad Mommy.

Whatever....

Okay, big surprise here, but no word yet again from Early Intervention. It's funny; they wanted my husband and I to go to a dinner they were putting on to talk about their program. How we were in it with Logan and now will be again with Ryan. We couldn't get the time to do that and now I'm not too sure it was a good thing. I could have let everyone know how the wheels of this place have ground down to a complete halt this time. I have no idea what is going on but I'm SOOOO not impressed with them this go around. I will be placing a call to them yet again today to find out the status. If I hear back from them before Thanksgiving it will be a miracle. Thank GOD we have insurance that covers 20 visits of therapy (each) per year but that is almost up. The good thing about that is the year is almost over and we get to start again January 1st. (But what happens between now and then when the insurance doesn't cover it???)

Logan has been doing pretty well lately (other than the vomit cough he has) He's been attempting to say more words. Hello, Bye Bye, medicine (WOW!) and he now knows his numbers and letters. Cheryl had him picking out different numbers and letters from a scrambled jumble and he was spot on! YEAH Logan!! She is now going to start working with entire words for him. I passed that information on to his teacher at school and they are going to do the same thing.

Oh, one more thing, which is totally AWESOME. I think I may have mentioned this in a previous post but it's just so GREAT, I have to say it again. He is now coming up to me, points towards his butt and says "diaper!" when he has a b.m. I really believe we are close (super close) to him becoming ready to be potty trained. He says "pee pee potty" when I mention it's time to see if he's ready to start going "pee pee in the potty like a big boy". It would be so wonderful to have only two children in diapers instead of three. If I could get his almost 3 year old sister to join him then I would only have one in diapers and could use all the money we save from that for his therapy!!

Logan

I had an interesting weekend. Logan has had a little head/chest cold for a few days. I've noticed that he won't cough up the excess phlegm. It's almost like he can't until it's about to gag him. At that point, he vomits up what has been sitting in his stomach. He did this to me Saturday and again yesterday morning. Once he gets the nasty chunks out of his stomach, he's fine and wants to eat and drink. I'm going to ask the doctor what this is all about. He hasn't had to use his Nebulizer in a few years and am wondering if we should be using it with him.

Latest Update

Okay, I thank you all for crossing your fingers and toes for me. I have scheduled his visit with the neurosurgen for the same day as the follow up with the neurologist. We will go in the morning to see Dr. Gegg and then the first visit after lunch we will see Dr. Kojic. It should be an interesting day. I will get the oldest ones off to school and have an hour to get ready for the road trip. Curtis will be keeping Katie so I can get all the information with minimal interruptions at the two doctors visits.

Glad we only have to make two trips to Orlando for doctors visits in December instead of three. It looks like this month there are NO trips scheduled; at least not yet anyway. It worked so well last time I asked so..... Keep your fingers and toes crossed that we don't have any visits to Orlando this month! Thank you!!!!

Update - Neurosurgen

I called the Neurosurgen's office yesterday to make an appointment per the neurologist. Of course, they said they had to have the records from the neurologist before they can make an appointment for a new patient. I had to explain that I had deliberately waited almost 2 weeks as to give them plenty of time to get the paperwork. After sitting on hold for 10 minutes she came back on the line to say they did have Ryan's file.

She wanted to know why we were sent to them (hello! the file is in front of you!) so I had to explain that I had a 'script from Dr. Kojic and I can't read her handwriting. She decided to read the file and then to call me back with a date for his appointment. I explained about the CS MRI and when it would be so she was thinking they could schedule for the same day. Since Ryan's last MRI lasted a little over 3 hours (From the time they took him in to the time he woke up and I could take him home) I am not too sure that will work. He's scheduled for 11:00 which would put his wake up time (give or take an hour) around 2:00. I have to get back on I-4 and head further into town to get to the neurosurgen's office so that would put his appointment at/around 3:00 or 4:00 depending on how close they want to take it. Once they see him and we get to get back on the road it will put us in rush hour traffic in Orlando on a Thursday night. I hate driving at night and I REALLY HATE driving in Orlando. I hope they decide to see us the following Thursday. (Keep your fingers and toes crossed!)

Cervical Spine MRI

Okay; I have the CS MRI scheduled but couldn't get a Thursday until December so I rescheduled the follow up with the neurologist for the following week. I still need to get the neurosurgen scheduled but I have to wait for the neurologist's office to send over the paperwork to them before they will schedule. Considering they hadn't sent his records to the genetic physician until the day we had our initial consultation, I'm not too sure when we will be getting in to see them.

I hope to have everything done (as far as the Orlando trips) by mid December so we can get back to "normal". I'm still waiting on Early Intervention to get with the program and get Ryan scheduled with their therapists. I did receive a voice mail from them last week that they were working on it. It sure would be nice to get this taken care of as they come to the house. (unless the local hospital finally got their stuff together and are now on their list of providers) I almost hope that they haven't so they will come to the house. It is a lot of running around and by the end of the week I'm exhausted. I love Ms. Cheryl and wish she would stay on for Ryan's therapy but...... We shall see how things go and I will post any response I receive from them.

Genetic Testing

Good news! Ryan's doctor that did the consultation for his genetic testing doesn't feel that he needs any further testing. She asked a lot of questions, went over all the medical documents from his MRI, EEG and the neurologist. She also did an examination and watched him play for a little while. She said that unless his feeding issues aren't taken care of with his therapy or anything else manifests itself that we don't need to contact them.

I was sooooo relieved to hear that. She also looked at his MRI and explained why the neurologist wants the cervical spine MRI done. It seems that they couldn't really see his neck area and that there was a question about it. She said it could just be the way he was laying during the test but they want to do this other MRI to make sure there isn't an issue. That was also a relief for me too.

Other than the stupidity with me leaving the lights on and killing the car battery, the day was good!

MRI Take Two!

Ok - I thought we were done other than the Genetic testing but that's what I get for thinking. We received the results from last Thursday's MRI for Ryan yesterday. It seems there is some sort of abnormality in the neck area. At least that is the area I believe the neurologist was talking about; she was using medical terminology and to be honest, once I heard abnormality I froze. The neurologist called me herself to give me the news. Seems we have to keep Ryan away from the chiropractor and contact sports. Ok, I did laugh when she said that but she did say that there are parents who take very young toddlers to the chiro. As far as contact sports are concerned..... sometimes Logan gets a little rough as does the other kids so I'm wondering if that type of play would fall under that heading. ;)

I'm still waiting on them to call me back regarding the other MRI (cervical spine MRI) and the follow up appointment with a neurosurgen. I have to double check this info as I said before my brain froze once I heard abnormality and cervical spine MRI. Not much else registered other than those two things. I will be calling them first thing tomorrow if I don't hear back from them to schedule this next test today. The good thing is that this other MRI can be done at the same hospital as the last one. I loved the people who did the test so I'm sure (at least I HOPE and PRAY) the same people will be doing this one. Please GOD give us someone with a good beside manner!!

Therapy and more trips

We had a good morning with all three therapies for Ryan. Ms. Corey was able to get him to eat a few bites of apples and plums with no bananas! She was also able to get him to eat two cheerios (hidden in the bananas of course) and a few licks on a lollipop. I have to be about the only mother who is THRILLED when told the baby licked a lollipop.

His gag reflex is still really close to the front of his tongue. She is working on it with him and so am I. The more we can get him to tolerate the better off he will be. They did get a piece of cellery in his mouth with a little bit of gagging. He didn't vomit at all this morning so it was a great session! He did great with Ms. Christime but he was tired and wanted to be done a little early so he kept telling her Bye Bye and giving kisses.

Ms. Cheryl was in with both the PT and the OT and he absolutely adores her. He wouldn't give her a kiss but he always lets her carry him to the car and put him in his car seat. He also lets her carry him in from the car too. I think Ms. Cheryl is always going to be the boys favorite therapist because they've known her a little longer and because she is just a super person. She loves them as much as they love her. We are very lucky!!

Well, we get to make another trip to Orlando on Thursday. Ryan is scheduled for his Genetic Testing so we have to be there around 12:45 to finish filling out paperwork. I'm not sure how long this will take and if it is the first of many visits or can they do it all in one appointment. I will be doing some more research this afternoon on this so hopefully I can let you all know soon. I had forgotten about this and made a parent/teacher conference with Logan's teacher for that afternoon. I'm not sure if I can make it back in time so will have to call them to check how long they expect the appointment to take and then make my decision on whether to reschedule p/t or not.

MRI Time

Well it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had to get up at the crack of dawn (it was for me at least as I've become accustomed to sleeping in until 6:45 during the week) at 5:00 a.m. I was somewhat awake since 4:00 a.m. worrying about the day and the drive. Ryan was a little cranky but was able to fall asleep during the long 90 minute drive. We were lucky it wasn't longer; just as we got into Orlando the traffic started backing up but we were able to get where we were going with minimal sitting time.

I had pre-registered over the phone with the hospital but they always seem to mess things up. I went directly to the MRI/CT waiting area and was told since Ryan needed blood work that I needed to go up to that area and get the tubes. Ryan and I went up there and were told we needed to go to registration. I tried to explain to them that we'd already gone through all that but was told quite rudely if I do say, that I still needed to go to registration to bring them the paperwork. I went for another walk to registration and was told by that woman that I didn't need to be there but she was very nice and helpful and called everyone back. She told them, in no uncertain terms, that I didn't need to do anything but get the tubes. She gave me the person's name that she spoke to and said deal only with her and she will take care of you quickly.

On the way to registration I saw the most beautiful site; a coffee shop!! I didn't have coffee before leaving the house because I knew I would have to have too many potty breaks on the road. I stopped and grabbed a LARGE coffee and headed back to the lab. (They had sent me on a wild goose chase so they could wait on me now) I don't know how I made it all the way without my "brain food". I think my brain was able to deal with the drive but not anything once we got to the hospital. While looking for the lab I got off on the wrong floor; could see the numbers weren't what I needed but couldn't wrap my brain around that fact. I had to ask someone where it was located. I have to give her credit; she didn't laugh, didn't even crack a smile when I stupidly said "oh this isn't the third floor?" while looking at the suite numbers all of which began with the number two.

Once we had the tubes safely to the MRI area, we were able to sit and relax. Ryan didn't want me to have too much coffee. I believe he knew how nervous I was and acted up because of it. He didn't want to sit in the stroller or walk around; just wanted Mommy to hold him. Each time I would lean down for my coffee, he'd start throwing a fit. He was really good with all the attention once they got us back into the MRI room. He even went to the anesthesiologist with no fuss. This from the little guy who cries with ALL new people. Everyone from that point forward was fantastic. They knew that I had gone through this with Logan before but it didn't make it any easier going through it again with Ryan. Once we were in the waiting room for the recovery area; the anesthesiologist paid me a personal visit to let me know things went very smoothly and that Ryan was fine. He said, "You can relax now Mom, he'll be out soon" and patted my shoulder. Good bedside manner or the personal touch means a lot to me. It's very surprising in this day and age how many healthcare professionals have no clue about it. I guess they need to have a class on the obvious since not many seem to have the common sense to take a few extra seconds/minutes to put patients or parents at ease.

It took him longer to wake up than I thought it should based on how long it took Logan. It seemed liked it did to me at any rate. Finally they came to get me so I could go see him. He was in the arms of an older nurse and seemed quite content to stay there. When I first walked in he looked at me but didn't do or say anything. It took a few minutes but then he finally decided he'd come to me. The nurse was very tickled that he wanted her to hold him. We got our discharge instructions and were off to meet Daddy and Katie. Daddy had to get the two older kids off to school by 8:00 and then jump in the car and head our way to meet us with Katie. Once we caught up with each other it was through a drive through for an early lunch and then to gas up the vehicles. Daddy had to be in Orlando for work so I grabbed Ms. Katie and the three of us headed home while Daddy headed to work.

Between the drive and the stress of the waiting I was pretty exhausted when we got home and it was only 1:00 p.m. Biketoberfest traffic in our area made it harder than usual for the drive home. Now we wait to hear the results for the MRI which we should get today or Monday.

Food

I found a nice recipe for Peanut Butter cookies or so I thought. I think they are great but the kids don't like them too much. They are for anyone on the GF/CF Diet and anyone with Celiac disease.

1 cup creamy peanut butter (I use Smart Balance Omega Natural PB)
1 cup sugar (I use XyloSweet)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla

Beat the egg and add other ingredients and beat until mixed. Shape level tablespoon worth into balls. Take a small fork with a little bit of sugar and press each way on ball. Bake at 350 degrees for 16 to 18 minutes or until set. Cool for 5 minutes. Makes 2 dozen.

I found this recipe on http://www.missroben.com/ and tweaked it to fit the boys needs. She also has a sugar cookie recipe along with the frosting that I will try out in a couple of weeks. I will let you know how it goes and post my converted recipe if they taste good.

EEG

Well the EEG went a lot better than expected in some ways. He threw a major fit when it was time to put the "things" on his head. Once the girl had them all on and had wrapped his head up he settled down somewhat but was still very upset with me. I was able to make him a bottle and he fell asleep in my arms. What a difference from Logan; who never did fall asleep for them. Ryan's test was done so fast that we were in the office a total of 45 minutes, if that. Logan was in there a lot longer and I had to hold him down so I'm very thankful Ryan's went a lot smoother.

We received the results pretty quickly. Monday in the mail we got the good news; all normal. Now we get to look forward to the MRI in a couple of weeks. He's starting to get a little cold so I'm hoping it's completely gone by the time he has his appointment. I'd hate to have to reschedule because they are so booked up it may be around Christmas before they have another available time.

I didn't get to speak to the neurologist during the EEG and to be totally honest I was distracted with all that I had to do with Ryan. His eating hasn't changed but I spoke to his occupational therapist regarding his aversion to the peaches. She said that perhaps he has an allergy to them. Since he ate about half the jar she doesn't think he has an aversion to them but perhaps they don't agree with him and that is why he vomited them back up. I normally mix the bananas with his other fruit and then add either rice or oatmeal cereal. I did this with apples and apricots the other day and he ate the entire mixture. I think I need to attempt this with the peaches once to see if perhaps it was the fact that he just needed another taste added. Wish me luck with this one!

Eating Issues

I thought we had made a slight breakthrough today. I gave Ryan some bananas with apricots and he ate the entire jar with no gags or anything. I pushed my luck a little later with some bananas, oatmeal and peaches. He made a few faces and acted like he wanted to push the spoon away but would open his mouth for the bite. I'd say we were half way through that jar and he started burping and it all came back up. The bottle, the food from earlier and everything he had just injested.

I should have known not to continue giving it to him but I was so happy about the earlier breakthrough that I pushed it just a little too far. It's hard to tell exactly when he is "saying I've had enough because I don't like it or I've had enough because I want to play". I feel like he needs to eat more but this issue he has with smell, taste and feel just doesn't allow him to try new things.

Logan was never like this when he was this age. He wanted to eat bread, any bread at all and he would eat anything with gluten in it and dairy. He also never gagged and only vomited when he had a stomach virus/bug. These two are so totally different in this area that I have to start all over again. I'm having to research a total different area with him regarding feeding issues. I've started reading the Autism Sourcebook and I'm hoping that I will find something in there that is similar to this. If not it's back to the drawing board.

We go to the neurologist tomorrow to get the EEG done and I'm going to mention it to her again and see if she can recommend any reading/research on this issue. I can't remember how long it took us to get the results when Logan had his EEG. I just remember that it was very stressful on us as I had to hold him the entire time and sing any songs that he liked over and over to keep him quiet enough for the test. I'm hoping that it won't be so hard with Ryan but somehow I don't think I will be getting what I want there.

Update

Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted; we have been very busy with the kids starting back at school and Ryan's therapy and tests schedules. Ryan went to Early Intervention this past Friday and was seen by the Psychologist. She won't be testing him for Autism until he turns 30 months but she did give us some unwanted results. She saw characteristics of an Autistic disorder; repetitive motor mannerisms and play, selective interest in attention, inconsistent response to his name, and perseverative vocalizations.

We will be continuing with his occupational, physical and speech therapy. Ryan has issues with food. He can't stand certain smells, tastes and textures which makes meal time pure hell. I contacted his pediatrician in June when I first saw that he had issues. At that time, 16 months, he wasn't crawling normally, not attempting to walk and wasn't saying much of anything. At that time, I was a little concerned with food but I thought he was just a little picky about what he liked to eat. Boy was I wrong. I was filling out some paperwork for his big brother and came across the Early Intervention checklist. I picked it up and was mentally going through where Ryan was compared to Logan and stopped. I realized that although he was much more advanced in some areas than Logan was at that age, there were other issues.

Since starting the therapy at our local hospital, I've noticed a great improvement in Ryan. He is walking by himself. He no longer does the snake crawl. He didn't crawl normally until after he first attempted to pull himself along our couch. He was walking on his knees at first; seems his balance was better that way. He has since become more confident and now walks pretty well. He mimics lots of words. His favorite is Elmo and Barney or "Barbie" as he says. He sees a baseball game and immediately says "AFLAC"; gotta love that stupid AFLAC duck!

I think it will be easier for me to continue updating with Ryan until we can get to a stage where Logan is currently. Since he's going through it now, it will bring all the things we had to do with Logan back to me so I can note where/what we did and where we can improve things with Ryan.

School and Therapy

At meet the teacher for Logan's first year with the school system, we learned that we needed to have an IEP meeting before he could be allowed in the classroom. IEP or Individual Education Plan is where the school system and the parents sit down to discuss what the child needs. It gives the teacher and therapists an educational plan for what is expected to be taught to the child during that school year.

I had no idea what the IEP was or what to expect but Logan's teacher was very helpful and told me who to contact and what they would need. We were able to get the IEP scheduled for the next day (which for the beginning of a school year was pretty miraculous). We sat down with his teacher, the occupational therapist, speech therapist and the staffing specialist to discuss what we all expected for the year. I have since learned that as the parent I have a lot of say so in what is allowed with my child. For this first meeting, I was totally lost and confused and just went along with whatever they said.

Logan is a runner and with no communication that qualified him to have a one-on-one aide. This was a great relief for us; his classroom was in the same wing with the older children. I had visions of him darting away from the teacher and getting lost in this huge school. This has been the best thing for Logan. Not only does she help him with all of his school work but she (and his teacher) work his speech and occupational therapy lessons with him through out the day.

Autistic children don't know how to interact in a social situation so group therapy really doesn't do all that much for them as far as I'm concerned. The schools do not get enough money to hire enough therapists to be able to provide one-on-one therapy for all the children. They do the best they can with the funds that they have. In our community there is a parent group that is working hard to fix this situation. In the meantime, we have had Logan with an outside speech therapist for over a year now.

The first year of school, we had taken him to see his neurologist in November. She was encouraged with his improvements. The last six to eight weeks of school, he wasn't able to get his speech for whatever reason. (I'm not sure what happened with the school therapist) When we took him to see the neurologist, she noticed the lack of improvement. She actually saw some regression regarding his speech. At that point, she stated that if he wasn't talking by the time he was five or six; he wouldn't be talking at all. That pushed me over the edge; talk about a wake up call! I did some research and discovered that our insurance covers 20 visists per year for speech therapy so we took advantage of it.

We immediately contacted a friend that gave us a name for a local speech therapist. We signed up with her and have been taking him there ever since for one session per week. There has been no regression since we have started taking him to the outside therapist. We are in no way out of the woods regarding him speaking but I believe that he will be speaking someday.

Logan - Therapy and School

After Logan was diagnosed, the EIP group decided how much therapy was needed. He went to two 30 minute sessions per week of both occupational and speech therapy until he turned three. After three years of age the local school system became responsible for his therapy. Since Logan's birthday is in July, we continued with our regular therapy until a couple of weeks after school started to guarantee that he wouldn't go without therapy. When the school year starts up the schools have to get all the paperwork and therapy sessions scheduled and it sometimes takes a good four to six weeks before therapy begins.

Thankfully, I was still working at that time and was able to afford the therapy sessions. I also had a very understanding boss. I would spend my lunch hour (around 2:15 each day as I had to pick up my oldest child and deliver her to the daycare where Logan was registered) driving to the school, daycare and then to therapy. After therapy I would head back to pick up the eldest child and head home to make up the hour or so that I had missed twice a week. I would have to get in to work as early as I could after dropping the oldest child at school so that I wouldn't have to work too much extra each night. I did this from the very first therapy session until we stopped a month after school started. What a crazy couple of months that was!

Stages of Growth Chart - what to look for

Just about every hospital or doctor's office will have some form of Stages of Grown chart. It gives you a list of things that a baby/infant should be doing at certain ages. For example:

19 months to 2 years
Walks well alone with some falling.
Runs and climbs some.
Makes mark with crayon on paper or table.
Sometimes uses spoon to feed self.
Actively helps to dress and/or undress self.
Knows and responds to own name.
Uses more than ten words and understands more than he/she uses.
Follows a direction like "Go get the ball" or "Pick up your toy".
Plays by self, begins own play.

Logan wasn't feeding himself using any utensils, wouldn't respond to his own name (wouldn't look at you when you called his name), no talking anymore and couldn't seem to follow any directions because he wasn't listening or so I thought.

If any of this sounds familiar contact your family physician or local Early Intervention Program in your area to let them know your concerns. It's pretty easy to find an EIP near you by simply typing in Early Intervention Program with the name of your state in a search engine. (Yahoo) See my Other Websites or Blogs of Interest for Florida and Texas Early Intervention Program websites.

Logan - 18 months of age

We begin our story with Logan at 18 months of age. When I think back to it now, I realize he wasn't talking as much my daughter did at that age. He was saying Mommy, Daddy and trying to mimic some other words. He received his MMR and a flu shot and we didn't think anything of it. At that time, we didn't know the possible dangers of Thermerasol that was used in vaccines to prolong their shelf life. To be totally honest, I can't blame Logan's Autism totally on that. I believe, that my husband and I have something in our genes that lay dormant in Logan until those shots. Once that happened, Logan's Autism had help coming to the surface.

We didn't notice anything until right before he was 21 months old and only that he didn't seem to be talking like we thought a child his age should. Since we had a girl who was almost 6 and a non stop talker, the doctor's excuse that he wasn't getting a chance to talk sounded about right to us. We mentioned it to several different doctors over the next 8 months before our daycare person approached us. She had recently been to a class on toddlers and what to expect and had seen something in Logan. It concerned her enough to mention it to a doctor she knew. He said the "flipping" Logan did with anything he could get into his hands could possibly be a symptom of autism.

Our daycare person was nervous approaching us about this but felt it was something we should be made aware of. She was so wonderful - she handled it with kid gloves; said to just tell the doctor that someone mentioned autism and that we wanted him to rule it out. I thank GOD for Ms. Gail for that. It was a very scary time for me, as right out of high school I had worked in the local school system and had seen severely autistic children. I was reminded of the movie Rain Man and it was terrifying to think that my baby could be just like him. It took us about 3 months from that date to the day we got the diagnosis that Logan was autistic. His diagnosis was severely autistic in speech and moderate for behavior.