Marie - ADHD

I have heard that ADHD is on the Autism spectrum which explains why Marie is ADHD. We realized there was a problem with her when I was pregnant with Logan. On Valentines Day she and a friend at daycare had gotten into a bag (big bag!) of candy and ate their way through half the bag. That night she was mindless, kicking and screaming and just uncontrollable. Now I know that much sugar would tend to make most kids hyper but this was way beyond hyper. That very night Curtis and I agreed to pull her off the candy and other sweet foods. He did some research on the internet and found an article about the food dye Red40. Once we read that and looked through our pantry we were shocked! Most of what we had for her to eat had that dye in it. We had to get rid of the Fruit Loops as they had just added the red back in which of course was the Red40. No more of the yogurt we had purchased for her and that she loved. Heck, even some potato chips have that dye in them and they have no red color. Tell me why it would need to be an additive if the food isn't colored red???

We have been watching her diet since that time. She will get stuff at school by trading with other kids. We've talked to her about that and what happens when she gets the dyes. (We have added Yellow #5 to the list as well) At nine years old, she is old enough to know not to get into things she isn't supposed to have. Each day I ask her to not take anything from anyone because you never know what is in it. She would say but it's not red why can't I have it so I'd show her stuff that wasn't red that clearly had these dyes in it. Thankfully, this year her teacher really knows about the dyes and can relate to her issues with them. She has the same issues herself so it's a nice change and a relief to have some backup at school.

The other day she ate something that she described like a cinnamon roll. Obviously it had some dye in it that she has issues with because she had a really bad time on the bus ride home. She wouldn't listen or do anything the aide asked her to do. She was so nasty that she had to sit next to the aide for the entire ride home. When she got off the bus she was in tears and when I talked to her about her behavior she screamed and stomped her feet just like a two year old. After much screaming and temper tantrum throwing, she was able to calm down enough for me to discuss the problem with her. I find the best way to handle it after the initial meltdown is to calm her down and tell her why she can't have foods I don't send to school for her. She will insist that she didn't get into anything and I have to go through the reasons that I know she did:

1. Not listening
2. Not doing what she is told
3. Screaming at the top of her lungs
4. Throwing things and stomping her feet
5. Telling me she hates me
6. Crying uncontrollably

I know that's not the Marie I know and love because she is the most lovable child. She wants twenty hugs when she gets home and kisses too. She wants to tell me all about her day at school at least fifteen times and will then add things that she forgot to tell me the first time. She always tells me she loves me at least five to six times in an hour. So for her to tell me she hates me that's a sure sign that she got into something. Once she calms down and sees that she can't lie about it she will finally tell me what she ate. I have to go through it again with her about how things don't always have to be red in order for her not to be able to tolerate it. It will take hours for the effects of these dyes to go away.

Case in point; I let her play and snack on some crackers for about an hour and then we sat down to write a letter of apology to the bus aide. I had to spell words that she learned in first grade and constantly repeat myself. She would lose track of where she was in the writing and then have to ask me the third or fourth time what I said. It was very frustrating for both of us but we both held our cool and got through it. She then proceeded to drink a ton of water to try to flush out the nasty dyes out of her system. That night was a wasted homework night so it's a good thing it was FCAT testing! They are being nice enough not to give the kids homework during the testing so that was her saving grace that night.

It has taken a long time for us to get to this point where I know how to react to her getting into things. For some reason it took me a long time to recognize the signs but thankfully I have finally "seen the light" and can react the right way. I feel so much better when things calm down and we can talk rationally without any yelling. It's a good feeling to finally have some control of something when it comes to her ADHD. We choose to not get medication and handle her ADHD naturally. It's definitely a much harder way to deal with it but it's the right way for our family.